The Unspoken Trauma: Why Your Church Fails Divorcees

Welcome to Episode 6 of the UnYoked Podcast, where host Todd Turner delves into the sensitive topic of divorce within the Christian church. In this eye-opening discussion, Turner shatters misconceptions and confronts the challenges divorced individuals face when seeking solace and understanding in their faith communities.


For feedback and discussion: toddturner.com/divorce 

00:00 Navigating Christian divorce in today's American churches.

05:08 Church teachings on divorce leave members feeling unwelcome.

06:58 Challenges of divorce in church community discussed.

09:55 Churches' judgmental treatment of divorce and remarriage.

15:26 Navigating Christian divorce with faith and struggle.

18:50 Church groups should focus on real support.

20:45 Donating aid; church focus on show over help.

25:19 Misguided advice leads to disappointment and hurt.

28:30 Church prioritizes systems over actual ministry outreach.

30:37 Church singles ministry: meat markets or healing?

35:27 Men overworked, prioritize family and recovery.

37:55 Subscribe, rate, review, share, follow, pray, resources.

Transcript

0:02

The unyoked podcast navigating the pain, process and possibilities after a christian divorce welcome to the Unyoked podcast. Today's episode is going to hit just a little different than some of the others. It might be a little controversial, but I think it's because it's going to sting a little and challenge some to have to look inward. My actual prayer is that this episode does at least two things. One, put words around some of the thoughts and experiences of christian divorcees navigating broken systems in today's american churches. And two, it shines a light for church leaders who are willing to step outside of their traditions and comfort zones and want to better minister to those affected by divorce, which statistically is anywhere between 40 and 50% of church members. I've been divorced over five years now at the recording of this episode, and I have only met a small handful of divorcees who have not been scarred, hurt, or frustrated with their churches post divorce. The truth is, most church leaders assume couples may have slipped away from their flocks post divorce, but fail to realize that their programs, words from the pulpit, or lack of empathy might have actually driven people away. I found this to be true more often than not. So today we discuss in detail the american church and the divorcee when the solution hurts. Now let me insert a disclaimer right here at the start, I know there will be people listen to just this one episode. They really don't know much about me or the Unyoked podcast. They may think we romanticize divorce or we don't take scripture seriously. Neither are the truth. But this podcast wasn't built to give the x and o's of God's view on marriage or divorce. There are plenty of sermons that break down a genesis view of God's perfect plan for marriage. This podcast speaks to those who are living in a broken world, trying to navigate a really rough road in their lives. We discuss how we feel, not just how we should feel. We discuss things that will never be heard from a pulpit, although I hope there will be christian pastors and leaders who listen to this and gain a new lens on the people in their flock and their mindset and their obstacles. I also know there's going to be very judgmental approaches to viewing or listening to this content with the lens of does this pass truth theology test? But I want to remind everybody listening that Jesus was full of mercy and truth, and I beg anybody to listen to put on a lens of empathy and mercy while you keep your truth lens. That's all I can ask. Remember Job's friends, man, they started off so well. They came to their friend in a time of need. They sat by job. They stayed in silence for a while. Then they opened their mouths, and it all went downhill from there. They told job their opinions. They asked the wrong questions. They made a lot of assumptions. Divorce is a major trauma event in people's lives. When we're knocked to our knees, this is when some christians turn into poor theologians and even worse, ministers. Let's start with the spoken and unspoken stigma of divorce. In christian circles, God has a high view of a marriage, and we should, too. We should protect the sanctity of marriage. Notice I didn't say at all cost because that would not be true. It's not a true statement. If a man is beating his wife when he drinks at night, that woman does not need to protect her marriage. She needs to protect her health and the health of her children. I've heard too many preachers get this wrong. Yes, God values marriage, but he fully allows for divorce. There are plenty of cases where divorce is allowed. And to be practical, there are plenty of situations where we as christians should encourage divorce, protect people's health and safety, even mental health. Yeah, I said it. Mental health. Our pulpits underline the importance of maintaining a marriage, and some will even mention affairs or abuse as the reasons you're allowed to file for a divorce. But they really don't get into the weeds of some other reasons. The Bible, and thus many pastors, are not really clear cut on mental illness, various kinds of abuse, verbal and mental financial sabotage, alcoholism, drug use, various child abuse, sexual abstinence, keeping a ring on, but not acting married. Living separately. Many of us have cried ourselves to sleep, navigating really tough situations and decisions, only to sit in a sermon and have genesis one and two taught and been given no real practical advice on some messy, real world situations. More on that later. But the point I'd like to start with is with the stigma. If divorce decisions are made right or wrong in the eyes of the pastor or leadership or small group, then a sense of not feeling welcome, it can be hampered. For those of us who had to navigate some really hard issues and decisions, it doesn't matter if your church is the most grace filled, loving, Christ centered church. Many of us still feel we have giant divorce signs on us as we walk in. Imagine it this way. What if you were in a giant car wreck and you're all bloody, your clothes are torn, you're limping as you walk, and you walk into church and everybody just said hi. Smiled and went about like everything's normal, but it's not. You're bloody, you're limping, you just got hit by a giant truck. And we divorced people have just had a giant tragedy in our lives. We're guted, we're bruised, and we feel one, if not three things, embarrassed, hurt and judged. All the while, the teacher, the preacher is up on stage talking about cars shouldn't get into wrecks. That's not what they were designed for. Well, we know that the pastors are preaching on truth, and we're not feeling the mercy part. We've been in a wreck. Why aren't we talking about it? Why do we have to sit here and listen to truth? Where's the mercy? The Bible is not theory. But enough with the theory of marriage and more into the real we really are divorced. We really are crushed. Our cars have been wrecked. Now what? There's often an undertone of, well, your marriage failed and those of us whose marriage didn't last, well, does the church think less of me, less of my spouse, less of both of us for the mistakes that we made that resulted in our divorce? So often there are so many underlying issues of a divorce. The reason for the divorce is not even the real reason. Now then, for some of us, our spouses still attend the same church. Or do they come to some of the church events? Every awkward interaction is a reminder of our new divorced reality. As we navigate conversations that ignore our strange realities or addresses them awkwardly, we feel we have to explain things, not knowing what details to reveal and which ones to leave out. It's so much easier to just avoid, which is some of the reasons we don't come. Sitting together is not an option. Sitting apart is weird. We've been sitting together for decades, and sometimes we have our kids feelings and the awkwardness our kids feel. We have to navigate that, too. Here's another way the divorce stigma manifests itself. Family centered churches, churches that market cater to shout openly about families. There have been many books on this topic. For many of you listening, you'll say, what's wrong with that? The Bible is pro family. Well, of course it is. But if you look at the New Testament teachings and rank them, it's blown way out of proportion. It has become a thing. The Bible is not promoting as high as churches do, like american patriotism. But are children, orphans, widows, divorces, single people all less important in God's eyes? Are we not equal? The Bible does not rank families over individuals in the same manner that many churches. Marketing and event planners do. In fact, Paul in the Bible actually implies marriage and family is a less desired route to take. Yet not only do we celebrate it, we assume it to be the standard. I told a story in episode zero of me quitting a class I was going to because every announcement was built on childcare and spouses and everything assumed two people. It's$40 per couple. Was it 20 for one person? No one even assumed it. It's like we just don't feel welcome. We come in and we feel like a fish out of water. Because the church is built around a family tone. I know churches that have asked worship team members to take a time away from the praise and worship team. Would you just stand in the back of the stage versus the front while you're navigating your divorce? Or even maybe after your divorce? It's seen as a failure. Not just a marriage failure, but as a personal failure. There's a church near me that really swings the pendulum on divorce and remarriage issue. They force anyone divorced to make a last attempt restoration with their ex before the church will bless or sanctify their new relationship or marriage. They've been known to force a public apology of any sins in the previous marriage in front of the congregation before church membership or remarriage. I sure don't see any public apologies for obesity, porn addiction, tax fraud, jealousy, lying, gossip. Name your sin, but let's be sure to publicly humiliate anyone divorced with their issues on stage. And for those who can't see me right now, insert my eye roll here. I know a man who was on a church staff. His ex wife told the elders that she wanted to restore their marriage. They forced him to consider and to take a sabbatical. He did, reluctantly, and he said the same thing. Hell no. I'm not going back. It's not the elder's job to mandate that. Once again, it's a push for the truth over mercy. Yes, marriage is important, but where's the mercy? Never mind the pain and the anguish the woman had put my friend through with all her affairs and a lying. But to force him to consider restoration, that's not their business. He's divorced, he's moved on. He is now single. And it's not their job to push him where they think truth would push him. Yes, there's a very real stigma in our churches and it makes many of us not want to walk in the doors. We just don't always feel welcome and certainly often we don't feel ministered to. In some cases we feel singled out, pun intended. Okay, let's dive a little deeper into the realities of ministering to single people, especially from the pulpit. But in order to do this, I think I have to rabbit trail for a moment to give you a lens that you may have never considered. Please hear me out. I wish I could set the table better on this, but here we go. What I'm about to say will be obvious for some, shocking for other, and maybe heresy for a handful of you. You know that little phrase we hear from time to time from certain pastors? I was praying this week about my sermon today, and the Lord laid it on my heart, blah, blah, blah. Well, there's nothing biblical about that phrase at all, and it runs rampant in american churches. The absurd notion that God has asked anyone to study, pray and prepare for a 45 minutes weekly sermon in front of rows of christian and pretending to have direct access to God for special enlightenment revelations. For that sermon weekly, 52 times a year, God and I talk about my sermon. Can it happen? Sure. Weekly? Probably not. God wants his word taught, but he isn't in the full time business to make sermons. Maybe this is the difference between preaching and teaching. Pastors have been asked to teach, read and unpack the word weekly, but the blur between teaching and preaching. I think those two phrases are as different as worship and praise. But our churches get that wrong all the time, too. But I digress. This accepted ritual of 52 40 plus minute sermons weekly causes a lot of wrong, twisted, misprioritized displays of word salad each year. The need to talk about Christendom and Christianes often replaces the reading and unpacking of God's words. Pulpits all around the country are having just people get up there and talk Christianese. They're barely breaking out God's word. They just literate with some of the verses that they pull out for their sermon's purpose. Well, how does this issue relate to divorce and divorce care? Well, most of us listening have a male married pastor who has never been through a divorce. His christiansee sermons are limited in scope and in knowledge. Asking for relevant information about our divorce journey would be like asking a 30 year old female who has never given birth to give pregnancy and child rearing advice. It's impossible. They've never done it. So what happens? The 40 minutes sermon at best, is here's what the Bible says about marriage, and here's what the Bible says about divorce and some pie in the sky message about the truth part God values marriage, but almost silent on the mercy part. Here is how to love someone in the turmoil of a broken marriage with shattered families. Here is how we can help your family navigate the landmines of divorce. It is this gap in ministering and speaking to divorcees. It's why I started this podcast. In my description, I literally say, let me read the Unyoked podcast. The pain, process and possibilities of a christian divorce divorce and the new single life is hard, but it's even more complex when you made a promise to God to keep your marriage till death do you part. But american christian culture doesn't make navigating decisions and the ripple effects of divorce any easier. Christian marriage and divorce advice runs rampant, yet often conflicts with the realities of pain, abuse, and loneliness. In the real world, God has a lot more to say than I hate divorce. God gives a standard, then he graciously restores and renews people, even when his standard isn't met. Those of us who are navigating the life changing event of unyoking from a spouse and or uprooting a family have to journey through some dark, lonely and confusing places. Our issues aren't frequently tackled from the pulpit, and the advice we receive always isn't relevant to our current place. The Anyoke podcast is just the place for that person, a safe place to wonder, ponder, relate, and consider your next steps of navigating a divorce, singleness, and the future. A place where we live in the tension between God's plan and the realities of living in a broken world with broken people and broken relationships. Buckle up. Remove the mask. Let's get real about discussing the ripple effects of divorce and equipping ourselves to survive being unyoked. As a Christian. Our churches have a giant hole in divorce care, and I felt the need to try to fill the gap, even in some sort of small way. I'm not going to fix this sermon problem. There are too many seminaries and tradition pushing the art of presenting a 40 minutes sermon. But for the record, I'm not saying it's right or wrong to speak for 40 minutes a week. I'm just pointing out that unpacking scripture is Bible teaching, and that's all pastors have been asked to do. Read God's word. Stop down and unpack the tough stuff. The whole Bible is God's word to us. He tells his story pretty well. His story of David and Goliath is an analogy story, a true story, but it's an analogy. God never wanted a pastor to make an analogy of an analogy and to make a sermon about how God can help you conquer the Goliaths in your life. That is a total misreading and an abuse of the word of God. Pastors, read God's word in church, unpack the weighty parts and stop with the my sermon nonsense, please. Okay, off that soapbox and back onto the original the issues of pastors preaching based on limited experience navigating complex issues and not having much counseling experience makes us divorcees look elsewhere for help. Maybe to a kind friend, support groups, books, podcast, someone who can relate with our needs and our experiences and our feelings. Our church. Small groups aren't always the answer either. We discussed it in the past few episodes ago that those groups are not full of people qualified to navigate divorce decisions, and I'll even double down since their depth of knowledge is closely aligned normally with their pastor's depth. Well, they're not going to be much better at navigating post divorce than the pastor is, although obviously they can certainly be welcoming and loving towards a crust soul in a whirlwind that divorces are sometimes in for sure. But when they jump in with dating advice, attempts to reconcile, constant invites to church events, et cetera, it can become draining on those of us dealing with far bigger issues than church stuff. Statistics show that children are deeply affected by divorce. Don't believe the nonsense about kids being resilient. While we're going through unyoking, we are navigating some real issues of kids mental health, power struggles with the x and boundary issues, coparenting, lifestyle changing, possibly money issues. These are just broad stroke overviews of the issues we navigate do you think that somehow volunteering at church or making an easy casserole for the small group, or coming and blowing up balloons for vacation Bible school or name your other church volunteer needs is somehow a better use of our time than dealing with a cris in our lives? A divorce is not just a decision and negotiating a settlement and moving out and getting on with our lives. The american church machine, with all its demands on volunteering and attending, is not a priority of people going through some real shit in their lives? It shines a light on the church's problem, and for those of us in a crisis once again, imagine being a victim at a natural disaster and you're needing some real help. A place to sleep, food, water, maybe clothes, a ride to school the following week for your children, maybe even your utilities turn back on, or even the money to do so, and the Red Cross comes to you and asks you not just to volunteer, but can you do a donation drive so we can all wear red shirts or let's make sure this family looks great. When we roll up on our next disaster, you would roll your eyes and discuss, well, that's what we do as churches. When we ask people in cris to feed the busy church machine while they're in a crisis. It's just comical. Remember, pastors, your version of church, that big building, those programs, the worship band and the six figure sound system, the light show, your youth camps, your Christmas plays, is not necessarily God's version of love your neighbor and feed the widows and the orphans. This is another rabbit trail, and I won't go down it too much, but it just affects how you minister to divorcees. The assumption that conversions to Christianity happens in a church has caused many american churches to cater to the show and to their offerings to the attendees. And those believers and members that are hurting and that are in need are often the ones who pay the price. Okay, let's get into some details of what happens, not on stage, but in the hallways. The advice that trickles our way from christians or church staff. Date Jesus. Okay, I get it. It's a vague phrase. I think it's meant to imply Jesus is always the answer. When you're in need, Jesus is always there for you. Okay, I got it. It's also used to imply, instead of missing your spouse or spending time suffering, why don't you just spend time in the word and deepen your relationship with Christ? It will be good for you. Well, here's the problem with this vague, superficial advice. It's just that vague, superficial advice. Like when you're out of a job and your lights are about to be turned off and your car is days from repo. Hey, you should start your own business. Well, while true, it may not be the right advice for the know, hey, starving kid in Ethiopia, you should dig a well and water your own crops. Yeah, probably true. Not now. We're lonely, crushed, sometimes depressed, navigating a whirlwind of issues. And you want to suggest something vague and not addressing our current need and situations? A few weeks after my divorce, I had a person drop by to visit. He, like Job's friend, had good intentions. But what came out of his mouth? You know, my wife and I were discussing divorce and death, and we decided that if we ever lost one another, instead of remarrying, we would just commit our lives to the church and serve Jesus. The look on my face, I'm sure, was telling. Hey, Ethiopia kid, I've decided I've ever gotten your situation. I'd probably just use my hunger to spread the gospel to other hungry people. Because I'm that spiritual. I'd probably date Jesus too while I was digging a well. Christians are just so good at throwing christianes at people sometimes instead of just giving them water, a $10 bill at a red light to the homeless person, pray, be a listening ear. Hug them, invite them to a dinner, not come to church. Date Jesus. And when you're not here, don't forget your best days are ahead. God's got something better for your life. These statements are not necessarily true. They might be, but you can't promise christians those promises. We may never get remarried, we may get cancer tomorrow. We may lose our jobs. We may get in a tragic car wreck tomorrow. We live in a broken world and you have no idea if our situations are going to be better or not. And your misuse of the verse God works things for good is not useful in this situation. Try that verse with somebody who just lost their kid to cancer. See if you don't get righteously punched in the nose right on the spot. Try that with somebody who just got devastating news about their spouse's health. Why would you use it during and after a divorce? This is a little side note because I have seen it happen, so I'm going to throw it in. But I have a very close family member who was told by an older, seemingly mature church lady that God had revealed to her that she would marry this guy that she had been dating. She gave confident instructions to wait on God and let him do his miraculous work. Well, our friend waited and waited and waited until the guy moved on and married somebody else. Wait, did God not know that was going to happen? Did that person disobey God? Did God not know that he was going to disobey? Like, of course not. It was an immature, insensitive christian throwing christianse and false prophecy jargon at a susceptible believer. It was wrong. Wrong. You are not God. You can't speak for him. The commandment do not take the Lord's name and reign. The one we teach our kids at Sunday school just means don't cuss or say GD. Well, that commandment isn't about cussing, it's about what we're talking about right now, right here. Don't speak for God. Don't tell people God is judging America because of this sin or that sin. God sent a hurricane to that city because they did this or that God's going to bless. Know your best days are ahead. It's not true. It's not necessarily true. You don't know God told me that you're going to find somebody else and you're going to be much happier. Date Jesus. Everything will be okay. Just stop it. And for those of us divorce and we're looking for hope in a bright spot, keep your bs meters up and your discernment up as you navigate dating and divorce advice. Your friends mean well, but sometimes their shallow promises are just not always right or helpful. So the church is broken. People are broken. Now what? Well, I'll tell you what I found for me. Mature friends who love me more than they play church and support systems that talk about the real issues and the rawness of life I attend celebrate recovery. It's much like AA, but not just for alcoholics. But imagine small groups for, like, church groups, but with systems and real talk deeper than the latest book your church picked for your group to go through. It's people who are broken. I had a friend, this is probably over ten years ago now. He got up and gave his testimonial at church, and he was having a problem with eating, and I just thought it was really interesting for somebody to get up and talk about this. I'm so glad he did. So glad he did. He said he had to go to an overeater anonymous class, and he wished the church was built for him to have these discussions. And I thought, wow, interesting. And then here I am now, divorced, now five years, and I'm like, you're right. The church doesn't have these systems in place. They want to. There's a lot of talking, a lot of teaching, and a lot of getting circles with people who haven't necessarily been through anything yet. We don't have the systems in place like you have outside the church. So he then I just realized this giant gap between church and community. The church wants their systems and people in their systems over ministry, actual ministry. They think our people must need leaders, and they need to be told what book to read to make their small groups work. But those of us in crisis need extracurricular programs to deal with our real issues, crisis in our life, real problems that need real solutions. The church could do that, but many are just busy playing church versus being in real ministry. I'm not trying to rip the church here. I know I'm doing a pretty good job of it. But I'm calling a spade a spade and trying to connect the reasons of why divorces aren't feeling welcome and ministered in the church. Okay, singles groups at church. The attempt to minister to singles, many, not all of these are total train wrecks. And here are just a few reasons why many single groups are built for the 19 to 24 year old, the ones out of college and college. They've never really ventured down heartache and have not dealt with the same issues of a divorced or even a widowed adult. Single is not the great equalizer. We're not all built the same. Once again, we're coming out of or still dealing with a life crisis. We don't need pizza and a bowling night, and many of us are far from ready to date. We have a lot of healing to do. Secondly, you know who runs most of these single groups? 28 year old Brad and his wife and their two year old baby. Brad doesn't know crap about ministering to divorced people. It's his second or 3rd 4th responsibility as an associate pastor and he's just herding cattle and making events to attend. Almost worthless. Lastly, birds of a feather singles at church some church's single programs are just meat markets, women looking for christian men, vice versa. Lots of drama, lots of awkwardness. I'm not going to spend a lot of time here, but there are some hilarious and even creepy stories I've collected over the years. But most people that I know went and never went back. This ministry falls into the shallow solution of a complex problem. What is a singles ministry? Are events the answer? Are programs the answer? Divorced christian singles need far more therapy and healing than they need a retreat, laser tag, or a place to watch the Super bowl. So what ways can a church improve its ministry to divorces? What ways can a newly single person contribute and utilize church fellowship? What is the so what to this episode and to this topic? What can we do to address these issues? Well, churches, you may need someone on your staff or a volunteer that has been through the fire and came out healed. Plenty have been through the mess and the aftermath of divorce, but not everybody came out healed. Frankly, I've worried about that for myself. Was I ready to do this podcast? What episodes did I feel comfortable offering advice versus just observation? You know the adage hurt people, hurt people. Well, non healed people offer poor advice. But give your new divorce care minister some slack and maybe, just maybe, release him or her from the husband of one wife requirement your church likely has for staff member or even lay leaders. That's a requirement for elders anyway, not staff. Give them some freedom to minister, not to make events and activities on a calendar. Crisis ministry doesn't work with calendars anyway, and that's what this is. It's a crisis ministry. Two, stop just preaching about Genesis one and two yes, we should all have a deep understanding of what marriage is and how God is using it to showcase his relationship with us. But we also need some time spent, not just once or twice a year, with divorce and divorce care. Empathize with those who have journeyed through it, who are still in it, and those who are considering it. Life is complex. Don't throw a general blanket on complex issues. Your flock will too. Equip them for good works and for ministry. Get into the mess of divorce, not the shame of it. The details of how to navigate it, the pulpit, the hallways and the offices and at dinner tables. Three consider a real divorce ongoing class support group. Maybe partner with other churches, rotate meetings. This podcast, and hopefully a future book or a workbook, literally identifies the milestones, hurdles, and opportunities of a divorced Christian. There's no excuse not to know and help walk beside a high number of members in your flock's journey. Divorcees listening, put in the work, then pour back in. The last episode of this podcast will be about this topic finding the silver lining in divorce our job isn't just to find a new mommy or daddy for our children or to find a rocking chair partner for the rest of our lives. We too are called to love one another, to minister to those in need, get healed. Many of us will have to do that outside of our own churches. But we can walk back in, forgive, be the resources for those in need. We can offer sound advice, listen well, hug hard, and let them know they are seen and heard. We may be bruised. We may have lost a lot of respect for those who have offended us. We may be a little bitter. I know I have been. But we can't just take our ball and go home with church. We must get our legs and go back to the business of authentic fellowship and loving on God's people. Maybe you'll be a little like me and say no to a whole lot, the busy church stuff, right? I give this example all the time about men's ministry. Drives me a little crazy because there's a man over the men's ministry. He feels like he has to put on some events, so he puts on a weekend retreat. He asks everybody to come work well, we need people to cook. We need people to go buy food. We need people to bring water. We need people to bring share. You work these men to death, you pay a guy to come speak, and what's the theme of his message? Hey, you all need to be spending more time in your family and be better parents, be better fathers. I'm like I was doing a pretty good job to you, maybe come work at this event, right? So I normally say no to all that stuff. I'm just not going to play church anymore. Right? We don't have to get sucked back into playing church, but we certainly can pour into hurting people's lives, whether that's in an unofficial capacity or through our church sanctioned programs. And fourth, for those of us further down the road to recovery, don't forget the details. I assume it's a lot like childbirth. We move on. We forget the pain. We raise our kids. But let's empathize with those in the journey. Let's remember the loneliness, the pain, the soul crushing shattered dreams, awkward moments when there's someone walking into a church bloody, with their clothes torn, limping from their divorce wreck. Let's don't ignore and pretend it isn't happening. Let's not make a big deal of it and tell them that God values marriages. Let's sit beside them, bandage their wounds, help them with their recovery, and let them know that they are loved, valued, and seen. And I'm speaking to myself and to the choir here. We live in a tough, broken world. It's hard out here. Let's don't abandon our churches. Let's don't neglect fellowship. When you're able, crawl, walk, run. Come back to your churches. Sit in the back row. Slip in, slip out if you need, until you're ready. Wade in from the shallow to the deep. Rejoice with those being baptized. Take communion. Love the person next to you. Be in community. Listen, I'll apologize for the church bashing today, but I will not apologize for trying to make the disenfranchised heard and to let them know that the frustration they've been traveling. They're not alone. Many of us have been deeply hurt by the church, and I want to attempt to put some words on these thoughts and these feelings. If you want more information about divorce recovery, first do a few things. Subscribe to this podcast, rate and review it. You may not understand how much it helps get the word out. Share this episode with this podcast with a friend, then visit toddturner.com divorce for more resources and to sign up for our email list. If you're a church listening, we have some valuable resources for churches on there as well. We will have a total of 70 episodes of the Unyoked podcast. Follow along. Pray for the much needed reach of this divorce recovery podcast, and I'll see you next time.